You Know You Are A Whisky Geek When…

by Oliver Klimek on March 23, 2014

… the top drawer of your cabinet is bursting with replacement corks.

… you are hoarding plastic pipettes.

… you refuse to eat caramel ice cream.

… you melanchollically remember the time when you had only 20 open bottles.

… you realize that to stop buying new bottles is as easy as quitting smoking.

… you hope your family won’t give you whisky for Christmas because they think you’ll love the Lidl special.

… you can type “Laphroaig” on the keyboard without looking.

… you know the founding years of your favourite distilleries by heart but have to look up the birth years of your parents.

… you are surprised to learn that Ben Wyvis is a mountain in Scotland.

… you tell your daughter she cannot have a white horse while you have daydreams of a white horse picking you up and carrying you to Lagavulin.

… you begin to wonder if you will ever be able to taste all those samples.

 … you are absolutely sure you will need all those emtpy sample bottles again some time.

… you have trouble to find a free slot for holidays in your calendar in between all the whisky events you need to attend.

… you are particularly friendly to women named Ellen.

… you cannot eat chocolate or cheese without thinking what whisky might go best with it.

… you take tasting notes for the whisky fudge you just bought.

… you take your Glencairn to work, just in case.

… there is no ice cube tray in your freezer.

… you have visited more distilleries than relatives.

… simple words like “malt” and “mill” induce salivation and make your heart beat faster.

 

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Gal Granov March 24, 2014 at 11:05 am

a few more:

1.when you hear HP you do not think about printing.
2.you’re quite sure NAS is not a rapper…

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two-bit cowboy March 24, 2014 at 4:08 pm

Great stuff, Oliver.

Thanks

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Antoine March 25, 2014 at 6:49 pm

“… you melanchollically remember the time when you had only 20 open bottles.” – oh yes,although i have a new drinking policy:finish one bottle before opening the next which leads to: “… you begin to wonder if you will ever be able to taste all those samples.”

“… you realize that to stop buying new bottles is as easy as quitting smoking.” – no truer word has ever been spoken.

i would also add: you think about where in your flat you have space left for your next whisky cupboard.i have one and a half full of whiskies.so theres maybe 6 months time before i have to think about the next.

and something i always do is:i cant help but look at the whisky shelves in super markets,despite them having only Black Label and Chivas.

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